Nothing like hanging out with a million other people crammed into a shopping centre, the night before Christmas Eve.
There were the two girls who squealed and gushed and OMGed when they saw the Eclipse board game. One of their boyfriends exclaimed "sometimes it's so embarrassing being with you".
On the other hand we have the guy whining about something in a book store. Until his girlfriend tells him to "suck it up, princess".
There was a malformed Santa wandering around with an abortion of a reindeer.
A man who had piercings coming out of his cheeks and both lips, who looked like an extra from True Blood. But an ugly extra.
There was a chick whose tshirt rose up at the back so much it looked like she was wearing an apron.
A group of guys just sitting and chilling in lounge chairs around a BBQ like it was christmas day itself.
A shelf had a leaf blower on it for sale. Not too unusual, except for the fact that there was a sign above it saying "role playing". What the hell? Do people sit around all year complaining that their job sucks, and they wish perhaps, just for a weekend, they could pretend that they blew leaves off footpaths? As opposed to saving burning pandas from starving children?
One store seemed to just play the best of Bon Jovi, over and over and over, with the only concession to variety being covers of Bon Jovi songs.
Another store had doof doof thumping, with people dancing on tables, in christmas gear. Which they were removing, to the pounding of the beat and the approval of the crowd.
Elsewhere during a quieter moment, there was a group of about 10 police officers all huddled together. Must have been a good night, for they all looked to be having a bit of a guffaw.
Unlike some chick whose phone conversation I mostly overheard, where she was tearing strips off her boyfriend for going off with his mates and not even bothering to text her. I tried to hear more, but other people kept talking and I didn't want to shush them. And then she walked off and I didn't want it to look like I was obviously stalking her.
However, I think the most memorable moment was when this little girl had just pushed her mother's buttons a little too much and started wandering off. There was this moment when we all saw it coming: the mother striding over, her hand raised up, and then *smack* across the face. There was this collective gasp before everyone, as one, turned away and started hurrying off to be somewhere else, anywhere else. Note to self: read some Christos Tsiolkas.
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